The Problems with Hiring a Dog Trainer That We Should Actually Talk About

When you hire a professional dog trainer, you're hoping for transformation. You imagine your reactive dog calmly walking past other dogs, your anxious puppy settling peacefully in their crate, your overexcited jumper greeting guests with all four paws on the floor.

What you don't expect are the disappointments, confusion, and sometimes guilt that can come with the training process itself. These are the problems with hiring a dog trainer that we should talk more about.

The Unexpected Disappointments

There's the financial reality. Dog training is expensive, and unlike fixing a leaky faucet, results aren't guaranteed. Dogs are living beings with their own learning curves, fears, and medical issues that might be driving their behavior. You might spend hundreds or thousands of dollars and still not get the outcome you envisioned.

Sometimes it's frustrating watching your dog perform beautifully during training sessions, only to have everything fall apart when you try the same exercises at home. The trainer makes it look effortless. You feel like you're missing some secret ingredient.

And if you've hired a balanced trainer, you might find yourself being asked to do things that make your stomach turn. Corrections that feel too harsh. Methods that seem at odds with the relationship you want with your dog.

Finally, there's the shame that creeps in. Maybe the trainer implies you're not practicing enough. Maybe they suggest your lifestyle is the problem. Or maybe they give you such an overwhelming training plan that you feel inadequate before you even begin.

The Misplaced Focus That Creates Problems

Here's a practice I see causing harm over and over: trainers who focus almost entirely on what the dog needs, without considering what's actually sustainable for the humans. Or vice versa. 

Yes, dogs have needs. But humans have needs too, and when those needs are ignored, the whole training plan crumbles. I've watched clients run themselves ragged trying to meet a trainer's unrealistic plan for creating the best life possible for the dog. The training plan included hours-long walks (when the clients worked full time), teaching six different cues in multiple environments, daily enrichment games that required elaborate setup, and more. A much simpler plan would have achieved the same goals, but this trainer was so focused on optimal dog enrichment that they forgot the humans had to actually live this plan. Those clients burned out, felt like failures, and the dog's behavior actually got worse because consistency disappeared entirely.

Then there's the other end of the spectrum. I had clients who consulted with a trainer about their dog barking in the crate. The noise was driving the owners crazy. The trainer's solution? Shock the dog with an e-collar every time he whined. No assessment of why the dog was distressed, no consideration for the dog's emotional well-being, no discussion of alternatives. Just suppress the symptom with pain and fear.

The best training plan is one that improves life for both species. If it's not sustainable for the humans, it won't work for the dog either.

The Promises That Set Everyone Up for Failure

Some dog trainers promise results within specific time frames. "Your dog will stop pulling on the leash in three sessions." "We'll eliminate reactivity in six weeks."

These promises ignore crucial realities. Dogs learn at different speeds, just like humans do. A confident, food-motivated dog might pick up new behaviors quickly. An anxious, easily overwhelmed dog might need much more time and patience.

More importantly, not every training problem is solely a training problem. I've seen "stubborn" dogs who actually had untreated gastrointestinal issues. "Aggressive" dogs who were actually in pain from arthritis. "Anxious" dogs who weren't getting enough sleep.

Sometimes what looks like a behavior problem is actually a medical problem, or at least has a medical problem contributing to the issue. A good trainer should be asking about your dog's health history, sleep quality, diet, exercise, and veterinary care. They should be humble enough to say, "Let's rule out medical issues before we assume this is purely a dog behavior problem."

The Emotional Aftermath

When dog training doesn't go as planned, clients are often left with one of two painful emotions.

There's the shame of not living up to the dog trainer's expectations. You practiced, but not enough. You tried, but you did it wrong. Your life circumstances - your work schedule, your physical limitations, your family dynamics - somehow became character flaws. This shame makes people give up on training altogether, convinced they're just "bad dog owners."

Or there's the guilt when you realize the training methods you used might have harmed your dog. Maybe you didn't know there were alternatives to leash pops with a prong collar. Maybe you trusted the dog trainer's authority even when something felt wrong. Now you look at your dog and wonder what damage you've caused, whether they'll ever fully trust you again.

Both of these emotions are heavy burdens, and they're often carried in silence.

What I Wish Every Client Knew

You have a say in this process. You're not just a passive participant expected to follow orders. You can speak up when something feels unreasonable. You can question methods that seem morally wrong to you. You can say, "That doesn't work for our family," or "I'm not comfortable with that approach."

You also get to speak up when their teaching is unclear. When it seems like the trainer performed magic with your dog that doesn't transfer to you, you can say "I don't understand how to do this skill." If a new exercise seems totally out of left field, you get to say, "I don't understand how to use this in real life."

And if the training plan isn't getting you the results you were hoping for, you can say, "This hasn't been working for us. Is there something else we can try?"

A good trainer will welcome this feedback. They'll adjust the plan to fit your life and your learning style. They'll respect your values. They'll see you as a partner, not just someone who needs to be fixed along with their dog.

Red Flags to Watch For

Certain words and approaches should make you pause:

• Trainers who use terms like "balanced," "pack," or "leadership" are more likely to employ aversive methods that may conflict with your values

• A one-size-fits-all mentality that doesn't account for your individual dog or your family's unique circumstances

• Disregard for your needs, goals, and concerns

• A lack of empathy for either you or your dog

• Methods that require making the dog do the "bad" behavior in order to correct it

• Deliberately putting your dog in overwhelming situations to provoke a reaction

  
  

These approaches prioritize compliance over well-being, and they often create more problems than they solve.

What Success Really Looks Like

Success can look a lot of different ways, because each dog is an individual and each family is unique. There's no universal standard of "fixed."

To me, success means improving the quality of life for both the dogs and the humans, not just one or the other. It means everyone has more of their needs met. Everyone feels safe. Everyone feels connected. Ideally, everyone experiences more joy.

That might mean your reactive dog can now walk calmly past some triggers but still needs management around others. It might mean your anxious dog is comfortable in most situations, even if they still have occasional bad days barking out the window. It might mean you've learned to understand your dog and read his signals and advocate for them, even if their behavior isn't "perfect."

Success is progress that's sustainable, humane, and actually makes your life together better.

Questions to Ask Before You Hire

Before you invest in a trainer, ask lots of questions:

• What methods do you use, and why?

• What certifications do you have?

• How do you handle it when a dog is stressed or overwhelmed during training?

• What if your training plan doesn't fit our schedule or lifestyle?

• What's your philosophy on positive reinforcement and correcting unwanted behaviors?

• How do you account for possible medical issues underlying behavior?

• What does success look like to you?

• How do you measure progress with behavior modification?

Pay attention not just to their answers, but to how they answer. Do they listen to your concerns? Do they ask questions about your life and your goals? Do they want to work with you AND work with your dog?

The right trainer will see you as a whole family, human and canine members alike, all deserving of compassion, respect, and a better life together. Don't settle for less.

If you're looking for a trainer who is not a perfect human but does her absolute darndest to get you and your dog some relief, check out my dog training services.